Bert is Evil!:
How did Mr. Hooper really die? (the Untold Story)
The following is the true account of the events leading to the death
of Mr. Hooper, Sesame Street store owner and friend of Big Bird.
Mr. Hooper died at the age of 68, of causes yet unexplained. We remember
the episode of Sesame Street where Big Bird one day made a portrait
of Mr. Hooper. Proud of his creation, Big Bird visits the old man's
store to find Maria and Bob but no Mr. Hooper. The two explain that
Mr. Hooper had just died and Big Bird is boggled by the whole concept.
The episode continues with Big Bird learning to cope with the Death
but never is it explained why and how Thaddeus D. Hooper died. Let us
now uncover the truth behind this mystery...
A week before the death of Mr. Hooper the famed actor comedian Richard
Pryor guested on the the show. It is a documented fact that Mr. Pryor
was an avid user of Crack. Intelligence sources have reason to believe
that Bert was his supplier ( the two have been photographed together
). In fact, Bert is the cause of his addiction.
*Bert is responsible for the the addictions of many other muppets: Elmo
Cookie Monster to Weed, Grover to Acid... to name a few, in fact Forgetful
Jones is a casualty of Acid.
Mr. Hooper caught the two shooting up behind the store and got mad.
Hooper threatened to go to the Police and that will not tolerate such
evil hedonism so near his humble store. Pryor snaps into a panic (you
know, the one he always does in the movies) Bert stays calm and says...
"Here's some money... shut up." Insulted, Hooper shouts, "I'll never
take your dirty drug money you freak! Get out of here before I call
the cops." Bert responds, "We'll leave, but if you tell... you die."
Bert walks away calmly while Pryor is still in a state of panic.