Interviewer: How well do you know
Kermit: I've known him for over
fifteen years now.
Interviewer: Has he always been violent?
Kermit: Actually, no - I think
it all started with the Bottle caps?
Interviewer: Could you explain?
Kermit: Well he had this bottle
cap collection.. and one day he lost one, he was searching all
over Sesame Street for it, well he went around raging, threatening
to kill. He was so paranoid, he was blaming it on poor old Grover.
He was shaking Grover around beating him up.
Interviewer: Then what?
Kermit: Well good ol' Mr. Hooper
found a solution... he got a bottlecap that looked exactly like
the one Bert lost and gave it to him. He pretended that he found
Interviewer: How often did these episodes
of madness happen?
Kermit: Often after that. He would
be caught stealing Maria's underwear. He tried to rape Prairie
Dawn a few times.
Kermit: She's one of the girl
Muppets here in Sesame, Bert's affections of love were turned
down by her a few times... then Bert got violent. He would corner
her into dark corners of the Street, and assault her. Bert is
a really evil person, I wish he would be put to jail.
Interviewer: Why have you made no
actions toward this?
Kermit: He threatens to kill us,
he has friends in a Columbian Drug Mafia you know. He says if
anyone reports... he's gonna have them skinned alive. We are all