Bert is Evil!
Bert killed beloved Wendy's CEO Dave Thomas
The first picture shows the first encounter between
Dave Thomas and Bert; where Dave caught the felt-faced little bastard
trying to look up the Clara Peller's skirt (the "Where's the Beef" lady)
For his part, Dave Thomas was one of the first
people in America to recognize the pure evil hidden behind Bert's innocent
looking striped shirts and single eyebrow. After years of secretly monitoring
Bert's lifestyle of hedonism, mercenary treason, and plans
Bert knew that he would have to strike soon to preserve his meglomaniacal plans. The final picture depicts Bert accosting Dave at a Photo-op. Bert pretended to approach Dave Thomas to apologize for their years of conflict. Being a gentleman, Dave accepted Bert's apology and shook his hand. Alas! Bert had coated his hand with an especially vicious strain of mutated cholesterol which is, of course, harmless to muppets, but the effects were disasterous for Dave as the substance was absorbed through his skin and set forth to clog his arteries at a disasterous rate. Coronary failure after years of heart problems, my ass.
Two days after Dave Thomas was laid to rest,the
warehouse where all copies of Thomas's written expose of Bert was mysteriously
burned to the ground. All of